My Journey #LivingWhileSurvivingLife

Anger is a funny thing that a lot of people use differently and access at different times; but have you ever been so angry that it turns to rage then to resentment? No. Well I have and it ate at me, making turn into a person that really just did not trust those around me. I had misplaced anger, I became my own worse enemy plus I felt like people in my family hated me, but truly it was all in my head, well parts of it was anyways. You never realize how much you carry inside of you until one day you snap and everything around you is closing in on you. It was February of 2012 and my world was closing in on me in more ways than one; I felt like my relationship with my parents was horrible, my relationship with my little brother was off (for many reasons), and the only person I clung to was my little sister. Sadly, while going through the denial of me being depressed, having anxiety, and other mental things I couldn't identify; I was also dealing with accepting who I was as a person. ...

You ever think you know things and then all of a sudden something happens that changes everything and I mean everything. Well in 2011, that's what happened for me, my life changed in a matter of seconds but I did not see how much this one event would effect me until months later. June 7, 2011, we got the call my great grandmother Ira Mae Davis passed away; a phone call no one was expecting or truly wanted because that woman was the heart of my ENTIRE family. She passed away suddenly in her sleep and crazy thing her death brought forth a lot of mixed emotions amongst some, but for me it's when I realized I do not know how to grieve. Truly and honestly, I still have may days where I am still dealing with her death right now and she's been gone now for 7 years. I learned that I truly knew how to fake it in the moment, but I was internalizing all my feelings and emotions. I will never forget hyperventilating that day at my job and feeling like life was sucked out of me; but t...