My Journey #LivingWhileSurvivingLife

Hey y'all, I know 2 blogs in one day girl you must have a lot on your mind... Yes yes I do.. As you can see the title of this blog, I am going to make some going to talk about some real ugly truths I am dealing with. You never realize some of things that you are dealing with until you start unpacking other things and then you have to look closely at other aspects. In my world, I have protected a lot of people and things that I shouldn't have because were that honestly protecting me? The answer to that question is no from my prospective, but hey those who were involved may feel they did their best at the time. Let me be clear, everything I talk about in this post is my truth and it's freeing me to write it out and let it go. So with that being said, let me set the scene for this ugly truth. Some years ago, I put myself in a position where I was tormented in a manner that is completely unacceptable to do to anyone; all over someone not wanting their truth to come to light. I ...

Hey y'all, I have been really going through and dealing with a lot of emotions while navigating this thing that people call forgiveness. I mean lets be completely real forgiving anyone is hard and I mean hard business but having to forgive yourself... OMG that's on another level of HARD! The level of HARD this journey has been is crazy because I have so much that I made myself face recently. Facing myself, I have to be honest that recently I had to take a hard look at two very personal relationships that I have held close for some years. One of the people has gone on to glory and I am mourning in two different ways.. the person I thought she was in life before she left this Earth and the person she actually was that I have to forgive after she has left this Earth. I ask myself so many times did she really care anything about me the way she was able to turn on me so quickly with someone else I thought was my "Friend/sister" because in all honesty who does something lik...

I know I have been putting out a lot of things to think about forgiveness, but I have also given myself the thought process of how I need to change things for myself. Well today I feel like I am going to go into a deeper place that may bring so much more things to the surface that some may not be ready for.  Forgiveness has you going through all the emotions and making you really see that at times holding to things may not be worth; but at the same time it takes a lot of time to get to a place of honestly wanting to let go. When dealing with life you have to find ways to truly be kind and loving to yourself in the process or journey because then you are opening the gate for you to have to forgive yourself for things. We all face the different hurts and habits, but we seem to make it worse over time because we do not take care of us.  Understanding that being kind to yourself and loving yourself through the tough parts will help you in the long haul of this uncomfortable proces...

Hey.. let's jump right back into this forgiveness talk because after my last post, I honestly cannot get certain things off my mind regarding the effects of not forgiving. I know that this is a hard process for many of us and honestly it has been a hard process for myself because I have been unpacking so much with this. So come on a journey with me... So in this part of the conversation, I am finding that I have spent a good amount of my life responding to a lot of things that happened to me from a trauma filled place. For instance, any hurt that has happened to me at any point in my life has brought me back to a trauma that has nothing to do with the situation at hand. I realized that a lot of my abandonment and rejection trauma is from unforgiveness from my childhood. Yes, I did say its stemming from not forgiving people from my childhood. In my childhood, I can go back to a time where all the rejection issues came and feeling abandoned; now when I break it all down I realize it ...

Hey y'all, I have been thinking a lot lately on forgiveness and how we all operate with it. Like do we honestly forgive people when they apologize, do we move on from it, or is the reason that we are more reactive then understanding... I pose all these different thoughts because I have been reading a book "Forgiving What You Cannot Forget" and my eyes have been opened because there are things that I have never realized about what forgiveness really means compared to how I actually forgive.. Let me clarify what I mean.. For most people, including myself, I find that I will accept people's apologies but I do not know if I really forgive them. For example: someone may apologize for cheating on me and I will accept the apology, claim to have forgiven them, BUT the next time we argue or they do something I bring up the fact they cheated. I HAVE NOT FORGIVEN THEM... When you truly forgive a person, you do not live in that moment or throw that back in someone's face or b...

It's 2 days into the new year and I have been woken up out my sleep, by my anxiety and my overthinking thoughts. I have been trying to make myself calm my brain, but if I am being honest I must talk about being triggered by things that I will deny triggered me.. Yes I will deny that certain things trigger my insecurity, trigger my overthinking, and trigger me in general. Triggering is so REAL and I think it's time to really talk about it. I have been really thinking, but honestly overthinking a lot lately especially in the last few months of the year. I have been overthinking every relationship in my life.. yes every single one because of triggers that I am dealing with that no one will ever realize I mask. I do this thing of withdrawing from people and acting like it is normal. But on a serious note, let's talk about where overthinking actually stems from... Overthinking is a very hard to deal with and sometimes it can cause more problems than it helps; also it brings out ...

It's no longer December 31st.. It's officially new year and I am sitting in my bed reflecting. You know we all have stepped into a new year. Many people are probably getting ready to do their New Year Resolutions, family traditions, and even mentally getting ready for a new year. But do we ever reflect on our year and see what we accomplished along with what we still want to accomplish? Like in this moment, I am looking at what I want to do in 2025, but I have not really looked at what I have accomplished in 2024. It's like I have to give myself the reality check of I went through life, but I also have accomplished great things as well.... I feel 2024 was a year, not a bad year but yet it was not a great year either. So let's be real about starting the New Year and making unrealistic expectations for yourself not to be able to obtained. We as people do a thing ever year, where we make these resolutions that we honestly only stick to for a month or two. Why do we do that...