My Journey #LivingWhileSurvivingLife

I literally HATE being vulnerable and I say that in the most humblest way possible. I have been trying so hard to do better with this vulnerability thing, so I thought today I would do something I try so hard to avoid; talking about my insecurities.  I honestly never really noticed that I had this many insecurities until I started feeling someone new in my life. I mean truthfully I did not realized that I was this insecure but let's talk about it. I really fear getting hurt on so many levels, I fear that I will scare someone off because I am so sensitive, and I also fear trusting someone with my heart.  I am so insecure about my looks, my intelligence, my emotions, and giving my all to someone and being played. I know a lot of you are probably reading and thinking what in the world, but this is my reality. I sit back and think nothing but negative things about myself especially when I am attractive to someone that is amazing and has all these wonderful things going for themsel...

So much has gone on in the last few days, it's like I have been going through a world wind of a lot of thoughts and revelations. It's crazy how in the most craziest of storms, the eye of it is the quietest and brings the most clarity. Lately, I have been getting so much clarity on who is for, who is against, and who is truly my friend.  I have seen so many people expose themselves one by one with doing the dumbest thing and it's really hurtful that people think that I am someone that they can repeatedly hurt; it's like I am naive because in the same setting I always end up forgiving people and allowing them to do the same things over again. I recently had a real big eye opening experience that made me finally take a look at myself and those around me. I have really cried over many people that have spit on my name, talked about me behind my back, through things back in my face when I have confided in them, and then also used me; but I would always take them back and forg...