My Journey #LivingWhileSurvivingLife

Soo have you ever felt like you need so many mental health days that you cannot find the time for. Man, I am going to let you in on a little secret; that's where I am at right now. I mean I have been breaking down so much that has gone on in my life these past few months and now I am seeing things I did not allow myself to see before. It's like having blinders removed from my eyes, mind, and heart; I have been really seeking to see the people around me for who they really are. Sometimes you should be careful and mentally ready for what you ask for. I have been breaking down how I have been functioning in friendships and how people in friendships with me have been functioning; I'm starting to notice a major difference with a lot of friends. It's crazy to me though because they way I treat people is exactly how I wished people would treat me. But sadly, a lot of my "Friends" are selfish human beings; which brings me to why I needed another mental health day. ...

Dealing with mental health is something a lot of people do not get into; especially when they know that they are dealing with real mental things. For instance, you had a death in your family, the way you saw your childhood has shifted, and a lot of your important relationships change forever; but instead of processing how it's affecting you and what you think about any of it you push it to the back burner. But one day, it will catch up to you and you will burn out bigger than you realize. Which kind of brings me to why I am writing this blog... Recently, I have been going through so many different things that I have yet to begin to process how I am feeling or what I think about all that's happening around me. I lost a loved one that means a lot to me recently, I have some shifts happening in my friendships and important relationships, and things are surfacing about my childhood that I am getting confirmation on. I think all in all emotionally I am fighting a battle to stay p...

So I got this really heart wrenching phone call from my mother on November 5th, yes last Monday, about my Uncle Reggie passing away. Man, hearing the way my mother sobbed and feeling the breathlessness I felt made this nightmare a reality. You know I only have 2 uncles, one that I could talk noise with and knew he would be spitting it right back and one that was You, Uncle Reggie, who listened and heard me out before trying to get defensive. Either way, everyone knows how much I love you and your brother. But back to what, I was saying; I cannot believe that I will not get those random Facebook calls from you and see all the random messages from you telling me everything I have been missing. We talked like brother and sister even though at times you acted as my dad and not my Uncle lol. You were very protective of me and my mom, you were an amazing dad, and you truly were a great man. I am sitting here days after your homegoing service and I cannot wrap my head around the fact t...