My Journey #LivingWhileSurvivingLife

So I am back to continue this conversation about my Trauma Healing and how lately I have noticed so much just from the passing of my aunt. It's so crazy how I have believed that I was being haunted by my past trauma but truthfully through this healing I have realized that I really have been running from ME; like I am really allowing FEAR to overtake my life.  Fear will be something big that I talk about because it has crippled me from doing a lot of things in my life that I have really wanted; especially some of my biggest dreams. I am just now stepping out on FAITH and doing things that when I was 16 I wrote about in my journal. It's crazy how a lot of things are coming back full circle in this moment, but one thing I can say is I am grateful.  Let me tell y'all something about me, I have had a terrible fear of dead bodies most of my life; like I cannot stand seeing a body in a casket, so basically I do not like attending funerals. Well I told y'all my aunt died and wi...

Lately, I have been in this place where I do not know if I am really healing or if I have become numb because of all that has been going on and has gone on in my life recently. I have been facing so many things and now I am trying to process it all so I can keep moving forward. I have noticed so much about me, my mindset, and I have really evolved a lot in the last few years, even months. I have taken a lot of blows in life, and some hit me harder than others but right now I think the real thing is I am noticing that my trauma is no longer controlling my thought process or how I am feeling about the things I have going on around me. I have been really tested lately, especially when it comes to grieving and even my reaction to things when they come my way. It's really funny to me because I will emotionally still have a reaction that is of my old mindset, but I literally will react in a manner that is unlike how I use to.  I feel as though because I have gone in and started to really...