My Journey #LivingWhileSurvivingLife

Depression Anxiety Bipolar Depression PTSD Multiple Personalities This list could go on and on with things that deal with mental health. But those things are not the only things that should be associated with Mental Health. People now a days think that if you have an issue mentally that's the only time you need to be concern or make sure that you keep positive energy around you. But that is all lies, your mental health is important, whether you have an issue or not. Your mind is a major part of your everyday life, it effects your movements and how you may or may not feel about the day when you wake up. The thoughts you think about yourself, situations around you, and just anything that could happen are all about of your mind. You could have positive thoughts and one bad thing happens then all of a sudden you are in a negative space mentally, or you could wake up in a bad place and stay there all day no matter how great your day my end up being. All of that is thing that can...

Hurt happens so often in many of our worlds, unexpectedly and sometimes we see it coming. Some hurt takes our breath away and then other times hurt can cut so deep we do not know how to get over it. All in all hurt is the worst thing we, as people, can say we experience, but yet we hold on to them. We have hurts that have hurts because they are so deeply rooted that most times we forget what even started the hurt we have. But my question is why do we hold on to the hurt? Why do we not try and heal? Why is it so hard for us not to carry the hurt around like a badge of honor? Truth be told, it's because we do not know how to heal. Yes we do not know how to heal. We know how to be hurt by things and hold on to them, but no one ever said this is how you heal and move forward in life. So we walking around with hurts trying to function as normal people, but truthfully we are just adding more hurt and pain on top of all the other hurt making the situation deeper and worse. Healing i...

That is such a loaded word that many do not truly get the meaning of or have a deeper understanding about because they do not really go deep into the process. So today I wanted to break it down, so that people can get why forgiveness is important; yes this will be hard to do at first but in due time it will become your way of life. So the cycle of forgiveness begins with a person hurting you in any shape or form; in most cases boyfriend, family, best friend, etc. Some people decide to not forgive and to hold a grudge, but do not realize that holding a grudge affects them more than the other person. You wanna know how? I'm glad you do because here is the breakdown. You holding a grudge about whatever it maybe, that means you are harboring anger and resentments that are going to eat at your soul. With those things eating away at you slowly, you start to think everyone else that comes in your life is like that person or those individuals that you are mad at and you ruin new relati...

So many nights we overthink our days and we spent most of our time stressing about things we cannot fix or explain. We have so many outside things that go on that add on to our everyday struggles and worries. We start to either stress eat, become very anxious, or it starts to depress us. Stressing becomes so normal that we do not notice that we are stressed out, or that we have become overwhelmed with everything. As people, we do not ever figure out how to process life or to cope with those things we seem to not be able to handle. Well for me, I found writing was the key. Expressing feelings and making sure I got them off my mind and on paper made me free from the thoughts/ anxiety that took over me. Stress for me caused so many problems that I had to learn how to handle it before it handled me. I was a poetry writer, well I am still a poetry writer I just keep that part of me to myself. I loved to write poems based off my feelings and what had me feeling a way because it gave me...

I am not okay.. The "I'm okay" button inside me is broken today and probably will not work tomorrow either. It's all catching up to me, literally everything, every emotion under the sun. I am losing my sense of understanding about things. I am starting to wonder if I really was okay before everything happened or if I have just been piling things on top of each other. On some days, you can go through the motions and continue to tell people "I'm fine", "Yeah I'm okay" and they can believe it until that one day they ask and those statements do not come of that way. Yes, today is that day for me. I am trying to say those phrases convincingly but I seem to be failing miserably. So much has hit me all at once today from so many angles that I literally feel myself trying to #SurviveLife. My anxiety and my emotions are all over the place, while my thoughts take over in my mind, then the tears come and do not stop. All the while I continue to tr...

So much has been going on around us in this world, and it's crazy how so many people suffer from Mental Health issues and no one is getting them help; especially African American children. Growing up it was taboo to even talk about anything bothering you emotionally, mentally, or even physically. It was like we were supposed to act like it did not exist or to fake it until we make it. Well I am here to tell you that is very TOXIC, UNHEALTHY behavior. Look, we as people need to take our mental health more seriously, because our mental effects everyday life truly. I have some mental health issues that I tried to ignore, but they caught up with me and started beating me at my life honestly. I have anxiety, mild case of depression, and I might actually be dealing with postpartum. I am not ashamed of these things anymore because truthfully all people deal with things, but I am apart of the few that do not know how to cope with the things I deal with. My anxiety goes back to high...

People now a days take for granted the simple things like being able to conceive something that not all women get to do the natural way. So many struggle with this and honestly it's heartbreaking to go through. I have my own TTC journey I went through last year and though in the end I conceived my beautiful baby girl, it does not mean that my struggle was not real in the beginning.  I am a lesbian so trying to have a baby has to be done differently for me than most women; I have to go to an infertility clinic and get all these test run on me. Sadly though doing most of the ultrasounds I have to pay for them out of pocket because my insurance only pays for those if I have infertility issues. So you can imagine that I have to be financially ready for this commitment of trying to conceive and everything that comes after.  So last year, in August, my wife and I decided we wanted to start trying, not really knowing the toll this process takes on you emotionally; we started l...

I guess in life we all go through different things that can affect how we see ourselves or maybe you never really know your worth. Well I am here to say that I truly have had that challenge of self worth// self love. Many people look at me and think that I am so confident and I must have such high self esteem; but that is no where near true because I have had low self esteem and self love for awhile. It all started when I was younger, I was always teased about something. If it wasn't me being teased about my glasses, which I had been wearing since 3rd grade, I was being teased about the way I talked. I was told I was white or that I thought I was white; I couldn't stand being called white or being told that I talked like a "white" person. It was like I was an outcast for speaking properly or even just because I was very studious when I was younger. Going through all this made my self esteem take many hits, because I was not accepted for I was and I thought somet...

Thoughts overtake my mind sometimes when I think about all the different people I have encounter in my life. From elementary school on into adulthood... Surprisingly I only have a few that have made it with me all the way to this point. I guess that's because of what is on my mind tonight.... So called "Friends" praying against me... I have always been an extra friendly person and I mean really friendly; I love meeting new people and making new friends. But truthfully that's a blessing and a curse; well this one time in particular it was really a curse. I had came in contact with a female that I thought I could build a strong friendship with, get to know, and make a lot of memories. I thought I could share my life with her and have the type of friendships I am use to having with the REAL friends I have around me. Well I am here to tell you I was wrong and I mean DEAD WRONG. So long story short, I had befriend a WOLF and I mean a real WOLF in sheep's clothi...

Sooo guys, you know I am very candid with my life and I have no problem telling what I have been through. This subject here is something that I find to be a sensitive one but truthfully it's something I have dealt with and I really need to address my thoughts and this situation. It's crazy how all this played out, but I grew up in my church all my life. I experienced so many different types of teachings from a lot of different of pastors. One thing that I notice all pastors say is "Hate the sin and not the person"; which truthfully when people think about it can be taken anyway they want. I find this is where it all starts with the hypocrisy and the judgement which turns many away from God and the church. You see let's be frank, I am a Lesbian, I am married to a woman, I am also a lover of Christ or as most say it God-Fearing woman. Yes, that is a loaded statement because if you listen to these "SO CALLED CHRISTIANS" I am not of God because of my lif...