Hard Pill To Swallow

So back in November of last year, I got some information/news that would knock any parent down because it's not easy to hear, but for me it almost took me to my dark place. Let me be honest, I still struggle on a regular with my depression and anxiety, that is not something that just goes away. Some days are better than others and some days, I promise you SURVIVING is extremely hard to do in general. But back to what I was saying about this new information that I received.

For those have been year awhile, you all know that I have a daughter who is now 4 years old. I never really explained a lot about my daughter because I honestly was in denial about a lot of stuff dealing with her development, but now I feel that what I have been going through and this journey could possibly help someone. So anyways, my daughter has some developmental issues or concerns, that I noticed early on; I brought it up to her pediatrician and was told it was nothing to be concerned with. Well fast forward to right before she turned 4, I finally got them to take me seriously when I brought up my daughter not being able to say many words. 

This brought on A LOT of testing and I mean A LOT! Hearing tests; that came back her hearing is perfectly fine.. learning developmental test were done, and I got information that truly was hard to adjust to in the beginning. The district tested her (and wanted to label my child NONVERBAL; which she is most certainly not) so I can could get her in a smaller class environment because my daughter does not do well in large settings at times. She gets very anxious and sometimes will leave an area if it's too much for her. Well after the district tried to label my child NONVERBAL, I had to take things in my hand to make sure that they did not do that.

One big thing that people need to realize is that you have to be your child's BIGGEST advocate and that I will always be for my baby. I went to her doctor and request Autism testing, because one thing I am going to make sure of is that my child has everything she needs to be successful. So she was tested and the diagnosed her with MILD AUTISM; I think I cried a little that day because if I'm honest that was not easy to hear. Why, you ask? Well because I automatically got overwhelmed...

My daughter is in Speech Therapy, Food/Sensory Therapy, and then you add in there okay well she may need Occupational Therapy and yea look into ABA. Now look at all this plus having a full time job, trying to finish my ACP, and doing this as a single mother; Yes I freaked out just a little bit. 

Now do not get me wrong, I had everything lined up for my babygirl to be set up for success. I went through making sure I had all the stemming things she would need, sensory toys, weighted blanket, and even have her going to the social-emotional therapist at her new school. 

This pill became hard to swallow but for my child, I would do anything to make sure that she is the best her she can be. But this is only the beginning of her journey, I have so much more than I know I will need to come and talk about more dealing with this new journey.

But for now I am still #LivingWhileSurvivingLife.

-Jess Lore'al