Anxiety (Take 2)

-
I cannot breathe
I feel no one sees me
My heart is claiming out
where did this come about

I cry so much
I'm losing touch

Count backwards
5..4..3..2..1

Why is everything getting close?
why does it feel like the walls are closing?

I cannot let this takeover
It needs to go
but when you have anxiety
It tells you "No"

It doesn't let go
So now it's time to get help
because I refuse to allow
this to overtake me

Anxiety won't win
I will
these attacks must
and will END

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Rethinking Old Depressing Thoughts (Part 1)

-
So many things have been going through my mind, like different observations about things I notice that I honestly never processed the way I am now. For instance, I have been thinking about states of mind I have been in when I have slipped into deep depressions or when I have gone into my distancing myself mode. Like have you ever sat back and really looked into why you were thinking the negative or always blaming yourself for things that truthfully probably was not really your fault or was just overthinking the situation and pushed yourself off the edge? Well, I think that I have because today in my mind I keep replaying the thoughts of being not worthy of love. Yes I said I have been thinking about the thoughts I have had about not being worthy of love. What's wild to me about the thought process I am having now is that I am seeing that I put myself in the rabbit hole of depression behind that. Because if I am honest no one told me I was not worth of love, I told myself that becau...
Read more

HIM

-
 Today, this post will be a lot more personal because I have something that I want to get out and honestly talk about. I feel that in life when we are going through our challenges with our mental health we are not very open about what's really going on because we never want people to judge or more on the scary side have someone call to have you Baker Acted or committed for those that do not know what that is honestly. So today, I am going to take you on a journey of what I call my "Intrusive Thoughts" while also talking about someone that I honestly am grateful for everyday outside of my daughter. So lets get real transparent... So for as long as I can remember I have had my "Intrusive Thoughts" that I am really not a fan of because they are some thoughts are in my "Dark Place" but they come anytime of day. I can be driving my car and I will think "Drive into oncoming traffic", "Drive off the side of this freeway", "If that sem...
Read more

The Toy on The Shelf

-
For many years I have always felt not good enough and would allow that mindset to really get me down. I mean I always felt like "the toy on the shelf" and that people only took me off when they wanted something from me, for me to do something for them, and/or wanted to have sex with me. I know this mindset sounds really crazy, but I really feel that people look at me like that.  Lately, I have been feeling this way especially after a had a heart to heart with a friend of mine and I realized that I have been "the toy on the shelf" for many people in my life past and a few present day. I do not know why that is where I exist with some people. I guess it's because I allow it, yes I can own the fact that I literally allowed a lot of this behavior, now I do not know why I allowed it.  For some reason, people like to say they have all these feelings for me, but only show those feelings when it is convenient for them and not because they want to show that they really a...
Read more