Postpartum.Hmm..More Like Daddy Issues
Man, what a 3 weeks I have been having with a newborn, school, and being a wife. Yes, life has went from simple to hectic slightly, but for the most part it has been okay. My newborn sleeps well and she does not keep me up all night which is a blessing, and I am able have some normalcy in life; but at the same time this whole journey is new, exciting, but very hard.
So everyone talks about the "baby blues" or postpartum, which when you hear about it can cause so much panic and anxiety. Because I have my own mental health issues that I have dealt with in the past. So to get ahead of it I got a therapist, which truthfully ended up helping with some other things that I did not know was affecting me.
So let's get to it... I am not having the scary postpartum thoughts, but I am have been slightly in my feelings about things dealing with my family. Well truthfully, things dealing with my father... He does not realize that his actions hurt me and how him not wanting to be active in my life really tears me apart inside. I haven't had a real conversation with my father since the week I gave birth to my little blessing, I had a C-Section and he hasn't checked on me to see how I am doing. My head spins at times thinking of how many times I have turned the other cheek and forgiven him without even getting an apology; but now I feel like I can no longer do that.
You see after calling and calling so that he can see his first grandchild and he NEVER answers or texts. I didn't think this would bother me, but sadly, it does and that's the only thing that I have issues with during my postpartum period is my father issues. I guess I want him to change, maybe love me the way he loves my siblings, or maybe just treat me like he even cares.
He does not know how much he hurts me, I mean I am his first born and he doesn't care the way I feel he should. I look at my daughter, my first child I gave birth to, and I cry because I'm like I'm so blessed to have this blessing from God; I do not understand not being able to love your child unconditionally or making them feel like they are not important to me because God knows I am completely and utterly obsessed with my child and being a parent.
I guess I am just not that important to him. It hurts, but I will continue try my best #SurvivingLife... even if he could careless.
- Jess Lore'al
So everyone talks about the "baby blues" or postpartum, which when you hear about it can cause so much panic and anxiety. Because I have my own mental health issues that I have dealt with in the past. So to get ahead of it I got a therapist, which truthfully ended up helping with some other things that I did not know was affecting me.
So let's get to it... I am not having the scary postpartum thoughts, but I am have been slightly in my feelings about things dealing with my family. Well truthfully, things dealing with my father... He does not realize that his actions hurt me and how him not wanting to be active in my life really tears me apart inside. I haven't had a real conversation with my father since the week I gave birth to my little blessing, I had a C-Section and he hasn't checked on me to see how I am doing. My head spins at times thinking of how many times I have turned the other cheek and forgiven him without even getting an apology; but now I feel like I can no longer do that.
You see after calling and calling so that he can see his first grandchild and he NEVER answers or texts. I didn't think this would bother me, but sadly, it does and that's the only thing that I have issues with during my postpartum period is my father issues. I guess I want him to change, maybe love me the way he loves my siblings, or maybe just treat me like he even cares.
He does not know how much he hurts me, I mean I am his first born and he doesn't care the way I feel he should. I look at my daughter, my first child I gave birth to, and I cry because I'm like I'm so blessed to have this blessing from God; I do not understand not being able to love your child unconditionally or making them feel like they are not important to me because God knows I am completely and utterly obsessed with my child and being a parent.
I guess I am just not that important to him. It hurts, but I will continue try my best #SurvivingLife... even if he could careless.
- Jess Lore'al
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