Sitting In A Pew Of Wolves
Sooo guys, you know I am very candid with my life and I have no problem telling what I have been through. This subject here is something that I find to be a sensitive one but truthfully it's something I have dealt with and I really need to address my thoughts and this situation.
It's crazy how all this played out, but I grew up in my church all my life. I experienced so many different types of teachings from a lot of different of pastors. One thing that I notice all pastors say is "Hate the sin and not the person"; which truthfully when people think about it can be taken anyway they want. I find this is where it all starts with the hypocrisy and the judgement which turns many away from God and the church.
You see let's be frank, I am a Lesbian, I am married to a woman, I am also a lover of Christ or as most say it God-Fearing woman. Yes, that is a loaded statement because if you listen to these "SO CALLED CHRISTIANS" I am not of God because of my lifestyle. Well I am hear to say "The Devil is a full on lie".
Let me tell you I have not always been where I am right now when it comes to my spirituality because of church folks. I was hurt by church folks and I mean had me questioning the love of God that these pastors speak of. But then I found something many will not understand but is real. Spirituality over Religion. You see many people focus too much on religion and following religious guidelines and not on the spirituality of knowing God for themselves.
God is love! Let me type that again, God is LOVE.
People claim they are for God and they represent His Word, but yet they turn their backs on their loved ones that are gay and claim it's because God hates the sin, but yet try to tell you that you need to be delivered from this sin. But yet the emotion or action they are showing toward you is a SIN! Do you know that many people do not go to church because of these contradictions? How can you tell me that God loves me but yet I need to change who I am? But there are pastors sleeping with their members, older men messing with little boys in the church, and all kinds of other things but yet because I am gay I am the problem.
I am here to say today that, these mindsets of these CHURCH FOLK is what I am trying not to allow to turn people from God. Because truth be told God loves all his children no matter who or what you are. He created you, just because some person WHO THINKS they are a good standing christian judges you that does not reflect how God truly feels for you.
That's why this is titled "Sitting in a pew of wolves".... People need to be more spiritual than religious and maybe more people will start coming back to church.
Until next time, I will be out here #SurvivingLife.
-Jess Lore'al
It's crazy how all this played out, but I grew up in my church all my life. I experienced so many different types of teachings from a lot of different of pastors. One thing that I notice all pastors say is "Hate the sin and not the person"; which truthfully when people think about it can be taken anyway they want. I find this is where it all starts with the hypocrisy and the judgement which turns many away from God and the church.
You see let's be frank, I am a Lesbian, I am married to a woman, I am also a lover of Christ or as most say it God-Fearing woman. Yes, that is a loaded statement because if you listen to these "SO CALLED CHRISTIANS" I am not of God because of my lifestyle. Well I am hear to say "The Devil is a full on lie".
Let me tell you I have not always been where I am right now when it comes to my spirituality because of church folks. I was hurt by church folks and I mean had me questioning the love of God that these pastors speak of. But then I found something many will not understand but is real. Spirituality over Religion. You see many people focus too much on religion and following religious guidelines and not on the spirituality of knowing God for themselves.
God is love! Let me type that again, God is LOVE.
People claim they are for God and they represent His Word, but yet they turn their backs on their loved ones that are gay and claim it's because God hates the sin, but yet try to tell you that you need to be delivered from this sin. But yet the emotion or action they are showing toward you is a SIN! Do you know that many people do not go to church because of these contradictions? How can you tell me that God loves me but yet I need to change who I am? But there are pastors sleeping with their members, older men messing with little boys in the church, and all kinds of other things but yet because I am gay I am the problem.
I am here to say today that, these mindsets of these CHURCH FOLK is what I am trying not to allow to turn people from God. Because truth be told God loves all his children no matter who or what you are. He created you, just because some person WHO THINKS they are a good standing christian judges you that does not reflect how God truly feels for you.
That's why this is titled "Sitting in a pew of wolves".... People need to be more spiritual than religious and maybe more people will start coming back to church.
Until next time, I will be out here #SurvivingLife.
-Jess Lore'al
I completely overstand this blog post as you know. I also grew up in the church and that we have the best pastor. Pastor Willie Taylor Sr who has passed on and his son is now ministering in his place at my childhood church. When I moved away to Raleigh to go to school, I started to look for a home church. I tried Thrive which was through the University and I even considered joining an Christian organization that was popular on my campus. I built relationships and though they never judged me, I hadn't disclosed that I was a lesbian. I was afraid I would be shunned so I shied away from them and started looking for a more traditional church. My roommate at the time, suggested we try her church. This is where the ish begins.....
ReplyDeleteSo my wife and I pull up on Sunday morning ready for word of God. We get in and sit on the third row....As soon as the Reverand started to give his sermon, he looked directly at me and told me that the Lord wasn't happy with my relationship. So, I'm uncomfortable but thinking maybe the Lord is speaking to me. But NO, he goes on a tangent about homosexual relationships and how it is not God's plan and he is going to pray for my wife and I. I started to cry right there and my wife took me by the hand and we left. The church had a nerve to send a card in the mail that said we needed to call them so they could pray for us. Iwas heartbroken. I couldn't believe how a supposed man of God could stand up there on his platform and spew hatred like that. I didn't even bother to tell my roommate, who happened to not be at church that morning, what had happened.
It was on that day, that I decided I was going to create me own relationship with the man upstairs. Rather then focusing on religion, I decided to focus on building a spiritual relationship outside of the church. I started to do research and tried to figure out where I fit in this puzzle of Faith and Chrisitanity. Was I really a Christian? For a long time I felt empty. I was mad at the church. People would often say I should search for an LGBT friendly church but I refused to be forced to attend a church with any types of label. I learned first to meditate. I had to clear my mind and heart to allow the relationship building process to begin. Sometimes I just sat and cried. Then I started to ask God questions and looked for his answers in my life experiences. When I attempted suicide, God showed up and showed out. He showed me that I have a purpose in life and no matter how small I may feel, I am a major factor in the life of many. He granted me with a second chance in life. He showed me what's important and that me as a person was perfectly imperfect. He made me exactly the way he wanted me to be. I talk to him daily and I give him all the praise in my life daily. Had I let the church influence my decision to build a relationship with God, my life would be in shambles right now. I am worthy of God's never ending love and I will continue to be a soldier in the army of the Lord no matter where I am physically.
Good moring, and thank you for putting this subject out here to give people something to think about, as for me I've been a memeber of my church for 40 years (all my life, no Im not old...) However I have seen more judgement from church folk then the stranger on the street, and it was for several reasons, but the main reason is becuase I am a lesbian. Which is wrong, I often wonder why others are so concern with my lifestyle rather than paying attention to the word during mass. What I take away from it is two things, Its not what you get out of the service its what you bring to it, and the church is for the sinner not for the saved. My walk with God is just that my walk, so for me that means challenges are going to come but God's will, will always succeed no matter who or what tries to get in my way. I have learned that people will just be people and not everyone will love you, but just continue to follow God's direction and you will never fail no matter how bleek the situation maybe... Keep up the great work and help others understand themselves!
ReplyDelete#Always&Forever!