The Truth About Me (RIP Skyscraper)
So crazy thought I had today is "People will see the REAL you before you will ACKNOWLEDGE the REAL you"
Basically saying that a person can truly love you for who really are even when you do not know who you really are. That's a crazy thought isn't it?! Yes I know, you ask how is that possible, well think about it your parents are a prime example of someone loving you for who you really are without you even knowing who you are.
I bring this up because I have had many people come in and out my life and only get to know the person I show, but never learned anything about the woman I am beneath the surface. Well I had a one person that showed me this acknowledgement and 3 years ago he passed away.
Today I decided to talk about a friendship that I have been having a hard time to put into words since he passed because this death was a hard one and I mean really hard one. On this very day, he was laid to rest and I think it's time to tell the world how he always had a way of showing me "The truth about me".
My best friend's name is Kendric Gardner, but most people called him Ken; but I called him Skyscraper. He was this gentle soul I met through a college friend that was his girlfriend at the time. It was crazy how we became so close and literally he knew everything about me, which is not an easy thing for me back then (I hated to let people in). He never judged me and he accepted me, THE REAL ME.
Ken was the first guy outside of high school I met that showed me the utmost respect. He never tried to come on to me, never was inconsiderate, and he literally fussed at me like someone who truly cared. We became close friends very fast, we had inside jokes, and there was never a dull moment between the two of us. A lot of the time we could not be serious at all.
I remember one time calling him and crying, Ken just listened and when I was done he said, "When will you realize how much you are worth?" In that moment, I was dumbfounded, but he went on to tell me how much I meant to him as a person and even told me so much about me that I had never realized he noticed. It was that day that I realized he was the only male I trusted completely.
Our lives went in different directions but he always texted or called me checking on me. We could talk for hours and I never thought all that would stop.
I had just saw him, he came to my house to look at my wife's car. We laughed about some old stuff and then he hugged me not knowing we would never hug each other ever again. He would always say "I know the truth about you; that's why I love you as much as I do".
Those were his last words in our last conversations; now when I have anxiety I see his car and hear him say those words. I try not to cry but to smile because that was his way of calming me, but missing him hurts at times. I never thought I would be sharing this as memories I'm holding on tight to because he is no longer here, but as things he continues to do.
I shared this one for me to truly start a healing process in this grief train I been on with missing my best friend, but I also shared to say start seeing your true you like those around you that hold you dear do.
Until next time, I will be #SurvivingLife
-Jess Lore'al
Basically saying that a person can truly love you for who really are even when you do not know who you really are. That's a crazy thought isn't it?! Yes I know, you ask how is that possible, well think about it your parents are a prime example of someone loving you for who you really are without you even knowing who you are.
I bring this up because I have had many people come in and out my life and only get to know the person I show, but never learned anything about the woman I am beneath the surface. Well I had a one person that showed me this acknowledgement and 3 years ago he passed away.
Today I decided to talk about a friendship that I have been having a hard time to put into words since he passed because this death was a hard one and I mean really hard one. On this very day, he was laid to rest and I think it's time to tell the world how he always had a way of showing me "The truth about me".
My best friend's name is Kendric Gardner, but most people called him Ken; but I called him Skyscraper. He was this gentle soul I met through a college friend that was his girlfriend at the time. It was crazy how we became so close and literally he knew everything about me, which is not an easy thing for me back then (I hated to let people in). He never judged me and he accepted me, THE REAL ME.
Ken was the first guy outside of high school I met that showed me the utmost respect. He never tried to come on to me, never was inconsiderate, and he literally fussed at me like someone who truly cared. We became close friends very fast, we had inside jokes, and there was never a dull moment between the two of us. A lot of the time we could not be serious at all.
I remember one time calling him and crying, Ken just listened and when I was done he said, "When will you realize how much you are worth?" In that moment, I was dumbfounded, but he went on to tell me how much I meant to him as a person and even told me so much about me that I had never realized he noticed. It was that day that I realized he was the only male I trusted completely.
Our lives went in different directions but he always texted or called me checking on me. We could talk for hours and I never thought all that would stop.
I had just saw him, he came to my house to look at my wife's car. We laughed about some old stuff and then he hugged me not knowing we would never hug each other ever again. He would always say "I know the truth about you; that's why I love you as much as I do".
Those were his last words in our last conversations; now when I have anxiety I see his car and hear him say those words. I try not to cry but to smile because that was his way of calming me, but missing him hurts at times. I never thought I would be sharing this as memories I'm holding on tight to because he is no longer here, but as things he continues to do.
I shared this one for me to truly start a healing process in this grief train I been on with missing my best friend, but I also shared to say start seeing your true you like those around you that hold you dear do.
Until next time, I will be #SurvivingLife
-Jess Lore'al
Death has a way of really putting things into perspective...we known that when we are born, we are on borrowed time but no one really knows how much time we actually have....people come and go in our lives like leaves come and go on a tree....but some people aren't leaves, they are roots....there are there for a reason even if you can not see it yourself. It seems like these are the people we have the least amount of time with, those who know the real ''us."
ReplyDeleteYou are a very strong woman and no matter what this is a tough situation. One that will take time. You will heal but you will never truly get over it. You will accept that the person is no longer here but not the circumstances...some days will be easier than others but it is ok to feel whatever you are feeling in the moment. If you need to cry, cry..yell, yell.....scream, scream.....get those emotions out so you canw through them. Be open and honest with yourself always...You have started the healing process by admitting you haven't accepted what has happened...that is step one....take it day by day....and allow yourself to be emotional...it's ok ..that's why we have more than one emotion, to help us process and deal with our feelings....💛💛
Im speehless but I can relate to what your saying... love you!
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