Entrapments/Entanglements/Marriage
The past few weeks the world has been in an uproar over the "Entanglement" word because of Jada and August but let's be real for a moment; that is not something new because truthfully we all have been in those type of situations. So now because a famous person uses the word we all want to be like that's a new wave.
Well I am about to have a real transparent moment with you guys about things that have happened in my life. So as you can see this is called Entrapments/Entanglements/Marriage; I will take each piece and dissect it for you to how these words have an impact on in my life. It's truly time to heal from some serious things that I never realized haunted me.
First of entrapment; the definition of an entrapment is the state of being caught in or as in a trap. Well it's crazy how when you are in a situation that is a trap that you do not see it until you are no longer apart of the situation. Well I was with a female for a few years and no lie that was most definitely an ENTRAPMENT. I was trapped in a place that caused me to spiral, but let me not get ahead of myself.
When I met this girl I will be honest I was not really interested because she was really not someone I thought I would ever date. We ended up crossing paths again, and that's when conversation began. i started to become intrigued but I should have seen all the red flags; then ran, but I did not. We talked all the time and I started to fall for her and all that made her, her. But I did not pay attention the over possessive best friends and the stalker like ex-girlfriend; which truthfully I should have most definitely paid a lot of attention too because when things started going south the FIRST time they played apart in it.
We dated for awhile and we always argued about the dumbest things, which she found to be her reasoning on not talking to me or to embarrass me in front of the people she called her friends. She would always talk down to me, make me feel like I was dumb because I did not finish my degree, but then turn around and try to make it seem like she was supportive of everything that I believed in doing. Truthfully, that was not the case she really she wanted more leverage to hold over my head because she wanted me to be trapped and owe her.
You see I had turned to her in a time of need and she turned to someone else for help, but she got me to where I needed to be and she let it be known in so many ways I owed her for her help. I never really saw that she had me TRAPPED, and how it was extremely TOXIC.
This entrapment ruined a lot about how I saw myself and my mental; I literally lost myself completely in that situation and it turned me into a person that did not want to eat, sleep, and I really did not want to breathe. I allowed her to make me believe that I was not worthy or that did not deserve to be loved.
Being in an entrapment had me losing my mind, had me thinking that I was in the wrong for not liking certain people, allowing myself to be disrespected by her and her "So-called" best friend, and feeling that I cannot get out. I was truly trapped until one day I decided that I could no longer take the abuse and I freed myself. But in the midst of all that, I stumbled on an "Entanglement"...
Lord, this is how I was #SurvivingLife
-Jess Lore'al
Well I am about to have a real transparent moment with you guys about things that have happened in my life. So as you can see this is called Entrapments/Entanglements/Marriage; I will take each piece and dissect it for you to how these words have an impact on in my life. It's truly time to heal from some serious things that I never realized haunted me.
First of entrapment; the definition of an entrapment is the state of being caught in or as in a trap. Well it's crazy how when you are in a situation that is a trap that you do not see it until you are no longer apart of the situation. Well I was with a female for a few years and no lie that was most definitely an ENTRAPMENT. I was trapped in a place that caused me to spiral, but let me not get ahead of myself.
When I met this girl I will be honest I was not really interested because she was really not someone I thought I would ever date. We ended up crossing paths again, and that's when conversation began. i started to become intrigued but I should have seen all the red flags; then ran, but I did not. We talked all the time and I started to fall for her and all that made her, her. But I did not pay attention the over possessive best friends and the stalker like ex-girlfriend; which truthfully I should have most definitely paid a lot of attention too because when things started going south the FIRST time they played apart in it.
We dated for awhile and we always argued about the dumbest things, which she found to be her reasoning on not talking to me or to embarrass me in front of the people she called her friends. She would always talk down to me, make me feel like I was dumb because I did not finish my degree, but then turn around and try to make it seem like she was supportive of everything that I believed in doing. Truthfully, that was not the case she really she wanted more leverage to hold over my head because she wanted me to be trapped and owe her.
You see I had turned to her in a time of need and she turned to someone else for help, but she got me to where I needed to be and she let it be known in so many ways I owed her for her help. I never really saw that she had me TRAPPED, and how it was extremely TOXIC.
This entrapment ruined a lot about how I saw myself and my mental; I literally lost myself completely in that situation and it turned me into a person that did not want to eat, sleep, and I really did not want to breathe. I allowed her to make me believe that I was not worthy or that did not deserve to be loved.
Being in an entrapment had me losing my mind, had me thinking that I was in the wrong for not liking certain people, allowing myself to be disrespected by her and her "So-called" best friend, and feeling that I cannot get out. I was truly trapped until one day I decided that I could no longer take the abuse and I freed myself. But in the midst of all that, I stumbled on an "Entanglement"...
Lord, this is how I was #SurvivingLife
-Jess Lore'al
Comments
Post a Comment