Self-Forgiveness
Lately, I have been dealing with the emotional aftermath of publicly healing. This has been harder than I thought especially reliving moments I personally have tried to forget. I cannot believe how much lighter it made me feel, but yet I then realized that I had not done one key thing; and that was FORGIVE ME.
Yes, I said I had not forgiven me, you might ask why would I need to forgive myself; well because after reliving my life I started to see how upset I was at myself for putting myself through somethings I could have avoided. If we are being honest with ourselves there are times we look back at things we go through and get upset at oneself for not preventing that or feeling like we allowed things that we never would have allowed in other time.
So for the past few days, that had been me; I literally spazzed on my personal facebook because I legit was so upset and could not realize who or why I really was mad. Then it hit me, I was/am mad at myself. Granted, most of things I went through were not self-inflicted but I guess I feel like I could have done more to protect me from somethings.
Crazy thing, I also know that if I would not have gone through the things I have I would not be who I am, have this blog, have my baby, and be apart of the tribe I have created which are all blessings for me and my life. Those things I am grateful and thankful for, but then I think of all the unnecessary hurt and think damn Jessica you really did not care about you at all. Those things that I did to myself in result of going through things I never avoided are the things I am seeing I need to forgive myself for.
Forgiving self is a real hard concept because as people we are more critical of ourselves and find it harder to apologize to ourselves so we can heal properly from self harm. Self destructive behavior is a big thing that we all, especially myself, need to forgive ourselves for because when we look back at the way we tore ourselves down without any thought of aftermath. So how do we move past the things we have done to ourselves? Easy...
Say, "I apologize for not loving myself properly. Never again,"then let it all go.. Yes this is easier said than done, but if you have to say this everyday until you wake up and truly feel those words... DO THAT.
I saw a quote that " I forgave you. NOW you forgive you. -God" That hit me in a way that made me reflect and say "
In that moment, I was instantly checked that now to truly heal on another level and continue to elevate self forgiveness was the next important thing to do.
A continuous journey #SurvivingLife
-Jess Lore'al
Yes, I said I had not forgiven me, you might ask why would I need to forgive myself; well because after reliving my life I started to see how upset I was at myself for putting myself through somethings I could have avoided. If we are being honest with ourselves there are times we look back at things we go through and get upset at oneself for not preventing that or feeling like we allowed things that we never would have allowed in other time.
So for the past few days, that had been me; I literally spazzed on my personal facebook because I legit was so upset and could not realize who or why I really was mad. Then it hit me, I was/am mad at myself. Granted, most of things I went through were not self-inflicted but I guess I feel like I could have done more to protect me from somethings.
Crazy thing, I also know that if I would not have gone through the things I have I would not be who I am, have this blog, have my baby, and be apart of the tribe I have created which are all blessings for me and my life. Those things I am grateful and thankful for, but then I think of all the unnecessary hurt and think damn Jessica you really did not care about you at all. Those things that I did to myself in result of going through things I never avoided are the things I am seeing I need to forgive myself for.
Forgiving self is a real hard concept because as people we are more critical of ourselves and find it harder to apologize to ourselves so we can heal properly from self harm. Self destructive behavior is a big thing that we all, especially myself, need to forgive ourselves for because when we look back at the way we tore ourselves down without any thought of aftermath. So how do we move past the things we have done to ourselves? Easy...
Say, "I apologize for not loving myself properly. Never again,"then let it all go.. Yes this is easier said than done, but if you have to say this everyday until you wake up and truly feel those words... DO THAT.
I saw a quote that " I forgave you. NOW you forgive you. -God" That hit me in a way that made me reflect and say "
In that moment, I was instantly checked that now to truly heal on another level and continue to elevate self forgiveness was the next important thing to do.
A continuous journey #SurvivingLife
-Jess Lore'al
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