Reflecting on 2021

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2021 is coming to a close and as I sit here I am realizing that so much has happened in this year. I have faced so much, overcame so much, and even healed from so much. It is crazy how the year goes by so fast and so many things happen that you seem to forget about; I feel like I have so much that I want to reflect on from this past year. 

My year started off kind of rough because I was mentally dealing with a lot and trying to deny that I was going through a lot. I literally was starting my last semester in my Bachelors and getting ready to check off one of my big accomplishments. I was doing this all while I am dealing with my mental health being in the worst place ever. 

I graduated from DeVry with my Bachelors and I should have been so excited but for some reason I was not as excited as other people were for me. It honestly was a huge moment in my life because I have been dreaming of graduating from college for years. I spent years working towards this, but for some reason I was not into the moment or even wanting to be celebrated. Depression is a crazy thing...

I got into graduate school, the excitement lasted for all of a few minutes, and it was crazy because I worked hard to get to this point, but for some reason my mental health blocked me from celebrating me. I have been wanting my Masters, taking more than one class each session, and I will be graduating in 2022. Crazy how with all that great news, I was still not able to be excited for myself. 

I also finished my manuscript; this is one of my biggest accomplishments that I achieved for myself. This book is something I have been dreaming about doing since I was 16; I finally finished and I felt accomplished, but the excitement was not there. 

Looking back on all this that I have achieved, I also reflect on the fact that I filed for divorce this year and in 2022 my divorce will be final. 2021 is my last year being married to the person I'm attached to now and I am back to loving myself truly. 

Crazy thing is I am ending 2021 with COVID, I know what a way to end my year. 

But hey that's not all that happened this year, I lost many "so called" friends this year; some that I have known for years, and then some that I felt were only around to use me as an ATM. I look back at some of the people who have recently left my life; I find that a few of them I have been there for, supported, and even lent money too; which they have never paid back and then stopped talking to me because that chose to be offended by something that had nothing to do with them. 

I close this year out with so many good, bad, and even great memories with people that are still here and some that will never be apart of my life again. I have many lessons I have learned, accomplishments to be proud of, and things I am still working towards. 

2021 was a year of healing from 2020 and preparing myself for 2022!

Here's to me still on my journey #SurvivingLife...

-Jess Lore'al

Comments

  1. Courtney DockinsJanuary 2, 2022 at 7:59 AM

    With all this 2022 is going to be your year. The friends you have left love and support YOU. I am blessed to have you as my sister

    ReplyDelete

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