Healing

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I woke up today and I had this thought process of why do people try to rush their healing process.. Like why do people think that there is a time limit on healing? And I am not just talking about regular healing, but I mean like grieving healing and healing from trauma..

I mean I have my own thoughts about healing as a whole and in parts, because I have had to do my own healing in life and there are somethings I know that I am still healing from. But in my mind, I sometimes find myself getting upset that I am still dealing with a hurt or I'm grieving my granny. For some context, my great grandmother passed away in 2011 and from that moment until now I have not seen life the same. Losing my granny, then a year later my great aunt my heart broke and my mental took a spiral; but inside I find myself upset that I am still dealing with this hurt. Sigh.. 

I do not know why but I think people have given so much grief on the fact that it's been 13 years, you should be over that and have dealt with that; but LETS BE REAL death and how you deal with it is your journey. Like I have experienced so much death over the years that I feel like it hit me to a point I lost myself in grief. I felt like I lost a piece of me when my granny died, it's like a part of me was buried with her... It's crazy because after her death, I only sang at funerals.. I honestly never wanted to sing because my granny was no longer here to hear me. My desires went away with her.... 

Death is a crazy situation that comes and causes you to take a look at your life in many different ways; sometimes it can have a positive or negative affect on people. Some people can look at death and think okay, it's apart of life, whereas others look at it and feel like their lives are over. I know both sides of this perspective because I have been at each point with different deaths in my life. Honestly, sometimes I still deal with my grieving for some of the deaths I have experienced in life. 

Which brings me back to the healing process, when does grief turn into just mourning or is grief and mourning the same thing? 

Healing is something that people cannot gage, cannot say okay I will be done with it in 3 months, and cannot force someone else through. Healing is something that goes on for as long as it needs too; we as people need to give ourselves more grace on the healing journey and show people more grace because we never know what they are healing from. If you are still feeling the pain from a death, allow yourself to feel that... I am saying this not just to the person reading it but to myself. 

Be kinder to yourself and know that healing takes time... until next time I will still be #LivingWhileSurvivingLife...

-Jess Lore'al

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