HIM (Part 3)

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 I know y'all probably looking at the title like you writing about HIM again, but hey this is my blog and my process... so yes I am writing about HIM again..

I know the last post I talked about the safe feeling I get from HIM, but honestly it's more to it than just feeling safe. I know y'all are looking at this like you make this sound so perfect like you have not felt any pain from this person; but if I say that I would be lying. So I am going to talk about how I knew HIM is the one for me and why truthfully, I only see the good.

In life you have relationships and people that you can move on and live without; but then there are the ones you cannot live without. So HIM is that person, I KNOW I cannot live without... Yes I know because with everything that we have faced together and apart, this has still been my source of peace. In the midst of the chaos, I had to silence everyone around me because sometimes you will think that people have your best interest but truthfully they are praying for your downfall. I have never trusted anyone until HIM and in the last few months of this year we had to make some real decisions about our future and what we truly wanted. Sooo let me get into it...

In May, HIM and I kinda fell apart and the connection went through a BIG test; and it hurt both of us because one thing I knew for sure was that the love we shared was unconditional. So being in our own places of healing and dealing with new things that were breaking us, we faced things that some would not have made it through; and let me be clear if I was not in the place I was in mentally at the time, I probably would not have made it either. In our darkest moments, we handle things differently, he believed his dark thoughts and made implusive decisions whereas I shut down and rebuild walls. So you guessed it, that's exactly what happened from May until about late October.. all the details of what went on is not important, just know we went through the unthinkable...

So in those months, I really feel like our love, bond, and connection were tested and we literally had to fight for it or let it go.. We chose to fight and the fight has not been easy. BUT the fight has been completely worth it... We have communicate a lot more about emotions, feelings, mental, and just anything that has needed to be discussed because if we are being real it's something we needed to remind each other that we loved about our connection. We had to remember that we built our bond off of a friendship, yes she is my best friend on top of being my person. With a few hard but great conversations, we started to get back to US, but differently.. we literally found US, but stronger and I love it. HIM communication has increased, HIM understanding has become different, and HIM bringing out my soft girl has been so amazing.. 

I wrote this part here because I needed to get it out there that yes, I find HIM to be amazing for me but yes I have faced something with HIM that confirmed that we are meant to be. I love me some HIM.... 

Until next time, I will still be #LivingWhileSurvivingLife...

-Jess Lore'al

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