My Journey #LivingWhileSurvivingLife

Hey hey hey..... It's been so long since I sat down and wrote in this blog of mine. But this quarantine has been no joke; like literally no freaking joke.. I have been battling many thoughts, feelings, emotions, and even I have been trying to figure out whats going on in my own space and around me that I have really not been in that place of sharing my experiences. I honestly feel myself shutting down because life, man, life has been something. I guess with all happening in the world with #BlackLivesMatter I have been avoiding how much my life matters. I mean truthfully, I have been drowning in so much that I literally forgot I truly have a lot messing with my mental. Now the question is: Where do I begin? Well here goes nothing.... I have been dealing with so much on my mental. It's like I forgot how to process things so that I do not know when I am coming or going most days. I feel that in this time in my life I have been hanging on by a thread to whatever I can. ...

Being in the house, you seem to think about everything and you start notice different things. I feel this pandemic has shown me a lot about people, Faith, and just life. You see your circumstances and what you are facing, then you look around and notice that you are the one ALWAYS reaching out and no one is reaching out to you. In some cases you make exceptions because some people are facing things that they never reveal. But then there are those "FRIENDS" that literally only text when you text and you wonder whats really up.. Like are we really friends or are we just friends when we are around each other? I guess because of everything I have been through I find it very easy now to fall back from people when they start to move funny. I am never hard up for people because I am starting to think if you fall off then it's because you were not supposed to be around in the first place. Then I am seeing that all the "God got you" "Just call on the Lord" ...

So the world is going through a pandemic and it's been really crazy all around all of us. During this time a lot of people are facing many different challenges from Mental, Financial, and Grief. But yet people are still not following the guidelines being set for social distancing.. I think people do not realize that even though this may not affect them directly it is affecting many people. I want to be real candid today and open up about things I normally do not because I want people to really get why this pandemic is not a joke for the world. So I am a military spouse, military is essential and they get no days off from putting their lives at risk for the well-being of others. But you see my spouse is auto-immune compromised and if someone who is sick with the smallest of things, my wife will be down for the count. So you could imagine how much I worry about her being exposed to this virus because it could change my life for the worst. We have an 8 month old child that I do no...

So crazy thought I had today is "People will see the REAL you before you will ACKNOWLEDGE the REAL you" Basically saying that a person can truly love you for who really are even when you do not know who you really are. That's a crazy thought isn't it?! Yes I know, you ask how is that possible, well think about it your parents are a prime example of someone loving you for who you really are without you even knowing who you are. I bring this up because I have had many people come in and out my life and only get to know the person I show, but never learned anything about the woman I am beneath the surface. Well I had a one person that showed me this acknowledgement and 3 years ago he passed away. Today I decided to talk about a friendship that I have been having a hard time to put into words since he passed because this death was a hard one and I mean really hard one. On this very day, he was laid to rest and I think it's time to tell the world how he always ha...

It's been a minute since I sat in front of this laptop to write about any topic at all. Well life has been really kicking butt lately and last week was the week of demon hell; Lord knows I truly was not ready for it. So here goes the story of my nightmare: I woke up Monday morning to do my normal things I do everyday; I got dressed, got my daughter dressed, then took her to back to my room to hang with my wife while I got her breakfast ready. Well in the few minutes of me being downstairs my child fell off my high bed and fell on the floor. I heard the screaming and I panicked. Well long story long this started the whole feeling of being the "Worst Mother" ever; my daughter's eye wasn't opening. So we took her to the Emergency room, I am trying not to cry, and my wife is doing the same. We get there and they look at her then do a CT on her head. All that to tell me my daughter has a fracture in her skull and now we have to be transferred to the hospital for ...

So life has been upside down lately and I mean literally upside down. I have been going and going/ ripping & running nonstop since Monday of last week to say the least. Which brought me to this post I'm currently writing because i have so much in my mind to get out. Well I wrote a post this week about checking in on your strong friends because they are not always strong. Truthfully sometimes they are weaker than they might want to let off. But anyways, today's post will be talking on this but going to another aspect of this. In my life, I am known as the strong friend the one that everyone comes to and leans on, but recently I have hit E. I am completely empty... I have nothing to pour into anyone else because truthfully I cannot refill myself. I have been holding so many down and lifting them up that I have nothing left to give and I am wondering who is going to come refill me. I have been feeling overwhelmed and drained. I have had so much going on around me that pe...

Depression Anxiety Bipolar Depression PTSD Multiple Personalities This list could go on and on with things that deal with mental health. But those things are not the only things that should be associated with Mental Health. People now a days think that if you have an issue mentally that's the only time you need to be concern or make sure that you keep positive energy around you. But that is all lies, your mental health is important, whether you have an issue or not. Your mind is a major part of your everyday life, it effects your movements and how you may or may not feel about the day when you wake up. The thoughts you think about yourself, situations around you, and just anything that could happen are all about of your mind. You could have positive thoughts and one bad thing happens then all of a sudden you are in a negative space mentally, or you could wake up in a bad place and stay there all day no matter how great your day my end up being. All of that is thing that can...