Entrapments/Entanglements/Marriage (Part 3)
Well as I said in the last blog, I entered my insanity by marrying my last entanglement. Was that what I thought who I'd marry? Honestly, no... But let me lay it out for you on what I wanted, what I got, but now I realize somethings are coming to light.
So growing up, I always wanted to get married, be a mother, and be a successful business owner; I thought marriage was something that is beautiful and should be sacred. I would imagine what my proposal would be like, how my engagement party would, my wedding colors, and what kind of wedding dress I would pick out. I dreamed of this most of my young adult years, but how things went was nothing like what I imagined or dreamed.
Well I started back talking to her at the beginning at 2016, I set back and listened to how I was not the secondary but the main. I believed all that and we started dating again.... may have not been the smartest thing I have ever done. We had monthly baecations but all along she was still living with the girl she was "supposedly" not dating at the time. She thought I did not know that but I did and it was crazy how I stayed and never left. Well as time went on, I mentioned how we needed to sit down with the mother of her son but she kept avoiding us meeting and I could never really figure out why.. I moved into my first apartment ALONE, and within 2 weeks of being there she moved in as well. No invitation given just had all of her stuff sent to my house and I came home from work and it was all there. Granted she did that because she got orders to Florida and she did not have a place to move all her stuff to there so my house was that place for her.
Fast forward to about August of that year, she proposed to me through a text message, yes I said through a TEXT MESSAGE, and like a dummy I agreed. She did not want a big wedding or the wedding that I wanted; she wanted to go to the courthouse and call it a day, plus she was not big on telling anyone that we were getting married. So I agreed because hey that's what marriage is compromise sometimes, not realizing that I am the only one really compromising at the moment. She thought about redoing the proposal during a photo shoot that I had planned for my birthday. Truth be told it was cute, but the down side was that she let it come out that she got my ring from Walmart and later on she would replace it.
The wedding day came, we went to the courthouse, and it was nothing like I wanted it to be, but I went along with it. My wedding day honestly felt like just another day and I truthfully probably should have not went along with what someone else wanted. Time goes on and she is getting ready to go to Florida, I tell her that she needs to have a sit down with mother of her son and myself because we are married now; well she lets me know no one knows we are married, not even her mother. I should feel a way about this right? Yes, I know I should but hey I let that go and I keep moving forward in this situation.
She is in Florida for maybe a week and all of a sudden she could not handle it and I needed to move there faster than what was planned. So I agree, even though I felt I should not have, to move by the end of April. I packed up an apartment alone, but as I was doing this I lost my best friend in a car accident; she was not there for me emotionally, she was to busy dealing with her own shit to even care about what I was facing mentally. She came home for us to drive up to Florida, we spent two nights at her moms, and then we left Texas. We got into an argument, she did not stop and get food for me, but expected me to sleep with her after all that had transpired. Next day, we made it to Florida and when we got there I automatically felt uncomfortable.
Living in the house we did at first I felt like I was a third wheel in a relationship that I was not truly apart of, but yet I was her wife. She woke up every morning spoke to the other person here which was "supposedly" her friend, her friend's newborn daughter, the dog, and then she came back and acknowledged me. Yes, I was last on the list. She never wanted to do anything with me but would jump up quick to do things for her "supposed" friend and her daughter. I felt like the secondary entanglement again, but I am the WIFE!
Lies were exposed as well; such as her still communicating with her ex, ex being on phone bill and I did not know, and she would act like I was crazy. She went out to sea and the mother of her son calls me this is where things got real interesting... I found out that the whole time she had been telling her she was still with the ex but yet she was married to me... hmmm... Things came to a head when she came back, but not in the best way; because she always would side with her "supposed" friend when she had anything to say about me. Allowed this woman to refer to me as a "Dick Dyke", say I was cheating, and then also never stood up for me.
My 30th birthday came, before my actual birthday we went to the Bahamas and West Palm Beach, but on the actual day of my birthday we sat in the house, she slept; and my birthday dinner was Whataburger. I complain not and went on; one year anniversary came and we did nothing because she had a hair appointment and I spent the day with her mother because we had went to Texas. Thanksgiving was a nightmare, and then Christmas she basically was like I will send you back home because you are depressed and I do not know what to do to help.
This is to be continue... there is more to how I was #SurvivingLife.
-Jess Lore'al
So growing up, I always wanted to get married, be a mother, and be a successful business owner; I thought marriage was something that is beautiful and should be sacred. I would imagine what my proposal would be like, how my engagement party would, my wedding colors, and what kind of wedding dress I would pick out. I dreamed of this most of my young adult years, but how things went was nothing like what I imagined or dreamed.
Well I started back talking to her at the beginning at 2016, I set back and listened to how I was not the secondary but the main. I believed all that and we started dating again.... may have not been the smartest thing I have ever done. We had monthly baecations but all along she was still living with the girl she was "supposedly" not dating at the time. She thought I did not know that but I did and it was crazy how I stayed and never left. Well as time went on, I mentioned how we needed to sit down with the mother of her son but she kept avoiding us meeting and I could never really figure out why.. I moved into my first apartment ALONE, and within 2 weeks of being there she moved in as well. No invitation given just had all of her stuff sent to my house and I came home from work and it was all there. Granted she did that because she got orders to Florida and she did not have a place to move all her stuff to there so my house was that place for her.
Fast forward to about August of that year, she proposed to me through a text message, yes I said through a TEXT MESSAGE, and like a dummy I agreed. She did not want a big wedding or the wedding that I wanted; she wanted to go to the courthouse and call it a day, plus she was not big on telling anyone that we were getting married. So I agreed because hey that's what marriage is compromise sometimes, not realizing that I am the only one really compromising at the moment. She thought about redoing the proposal during a photo shoot that I had planned for my birthday. Truth be told it was cute, but the down side was that she let it come out that she got my ring from Walmart and later on she would replace it.
The wedding day came, we went to the courthouse, and it was nothing like I wanted it to be, but I went along with it. My wedding day honestly felt like just another day and I truthfully probably should have not went along with what someone else wanted. Time goes on and she is getting ready to go to Florida, I tell her that she needs to have a sit down with mother of her son and myself because we are married now; well she lets me know no one knows we are married, not even her mother. I should feel a way about this right? Yes, I know I should but hey I let that go and I keep moving forward in this situation.
She is in Florida for maybe a week and all of a sudden she could not handle it and I needed to move there faster than what was planned. So I agree, even though I felt I should not have, to move by the end of April. I packed up an apartment alone, but as I was doing this I lost my best friend in a car accident; she was not there for me emotionally, she was to busy dealing with her own shit to even care about what I was facing mentally. She came home for us to drive up to Florida, we spent two nights at her moms, and then we left Texas. We got into an argument, she did not stop and get food for me, but expected me to sleep with her after all that had transpired. Next day, we made it to Florida and when we got there I automatically felt uncomfortable.
Living in the house we did at first I felt like I was a third wheel in a relationship that I was not truly apart of, but yet I was her wife. She woke up every morning spoke to the other person here which was "supposedly" her friend, her friend's newborn daughter, the dog, and then she came back and acknowledged me. Yes, I was last on the list. She never wanted to do anything with me but would jump up quick to do things for her "supposed" friend and her daughter. I felt like the secondary entanglement again, but I am the WIFE!
Lies were exposed as well; such as her still communicating with her ex, ex being on phone bill and I did not know, and she would act like I was crazy. She went out to sea and the mother of her son calls me this is where things got real interesting... I found out that the whole time she had been telling her she was still with the ex but yet she was married to me... hmmm... Things came to a head when she came back, but not in the best way; because she always would side with her "supposed" friend when she had anything to say about me. Allowed this woman to refer to me as a "Dick Dyke", say I was cheating, and then also never stood up for me.
My 30th birthday came, before my actual birthday we went to the Bahamas and West Palm Beach, but on the actual day of my birthday we sat in the house, she slept; and my birthday dinner was Whataburger. I complain not and went on; one year anniversary came and we did nothing because she had a hair appointment and I spent the day with her mother because we had went to Texas. Thanksgiving was a nightmare, and then Christmas she basically was like I will send you back home because you are depressed and I do not know what to do to help.
This is to be continue... there is more to how I was #SurvivingLife.
-Jess Lore'al
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