Entrapments/Entanglements/Marriage (Part 2)
Well as I ended my last blog, I mentioned that I had an entanglement that I got myself involved in; which was a lot deeper than most may know. So I am going to start this off with saying I have been in multiple entanglements in my lifetime, but I only have 3 that made an impact on my life in many different ways.
But first, an entanglement is a complicated or compromising relationship or situation. Seeing the definition really brings back some memories of somethings I might not be very proud of but I did it, so here goes some more transparency.
First entanglement came about while I was dating this one female and she introduced me to her crew of friends; she did not realize that all of them were snakes and really did not care for her at all. But anyways, she went out of town with one that she called her best friend (whom honestly had the biggest crush on me), while out of town she kissed someone else. Her "best friend", who told her I would never find out, ended up calling and telling me once she fell asleep. I was caught off guard because my thought process was why are you telling me this and how did you get my number; but in that moment I allowed myself to do something that later in life I regretted fully. I began an entanglement with her "Best Friend" and acted like nothing was wrong with it. I kept this crap up for awhile until one day I just broke up with the girl and then tried to get away from the entanglement. She became a stalker for awhile not understanding why I couldn't take her seriously but throughout the time we interacted she lied, manipulated, and even tried to make me look crazy when truthfully it was the game she liked to play with all the many girls in the different area codes.
But you would think I would learn from that; sadly I did not....
Second entanglement was a lot worse than the first... this girl was one of my close friends that helped me out when I was in a tight spot, but what we ended up in was not the plan. She was engaged at the time and I knew that, but I guess because of where I was mentally I honestly did not care. I slept with her and the first time (yes I said first time) I was like "FUCK, i probably should not have done that"; but even still I let her pay for things, I had the pin to all major cards, and had access to all major accounts. Truth be told I even had the spare key to her car because that's just how it was handled. This entanglement though was almost a deadly one being that she was the extremely jealous and possessive over me, mind you I am just the "entanglement" or "jump-off". I was out with my friends one night, she happened to show up there with her crew and fiancee; she saw me dancing and started blowing my phone up with text messages. She went off for hours... saying all kinds of uncalled for craziness... then the next morning she acted like none of that happened. I was like lord this girl has lost her mind, I am not her fiancee, girlfriend, or boo; I'm legit just a jump-off. So in that moment, I decided it was time to walk away and leave that alone.. I realized in that situation I was not built to be anyone's other woman, side chick, or entanglement... But sadly I ended up in one more entanglement... but this one had a whole different ending..
My last entanglement was one I probably should have left alone from the beginning; there were so many red flags and I noticed them all but still proceeded forward. When we first started talking she admitted to stalking me on MySpace, going through everything on it and looking for me because she was into me when we were in high school. For some reason, when you are unhappy with self some of these things seem flattering even though none of it really should be. We talked for a few months and then she was like I'm going to the service, which in that moment I had the chance to get away but I stayed down. Now you may be wondering why I called this an entanglement, I call it that because truthfully she was involved with someone else and thought I did not know. From the moment, she entered my life I saw that she was not a one woman person; but hey I was not trying to be serious at the time. Welp, I guess I lied to myself because I fell and I mean I fell hard; I would talk to her all day everyday, wake her up for work, and then she left for the Navy. We still emailed and talked but the crazy part is I still knew I was not the only one, I did not know if I was the original entanglement or the secondary one. Until my great aunt died then I found out everything. When I say I was crushed because a baby was born, in that moment I realized I was secondary and this lead me back to my ENTRAPMENT...... which began my insanity because I went back to this entanglement and married them....
There's more come about how I have been #SurvivingLife
-Jess Lore'al
But first, an entanglement is a complicated or compromising relationship or situation. Seeing the definition really brings back some memories of somethings I might not be very proud of but I did it, so here goes some more transparency.
First entanglement came about while I was dating this one female and she introduced me to her crew of friends; she did not realize that all of them were snakes and really did not care for her at all. But anyways, she went out of town with one that she called her best friend (whom honestly had the biggest crush on me), while out of town she kissed someone else. Her "best friend", who told her I would never find out, ended up calling and telling me once she fell asleep. I was caught off guard because my thought process was why are you telling me this and how did you get my number; but in that moment I allowed myself to do something that later in life I regretted fully. I began an entanglement with her "Best Friend" and acted like nothing was wrong with it. I kept this crap up for awhile until one day I just broke up with the girl and then tried to get away from the entanglement. She became a stalker for awhile not understanding why I couldn't take her seriously but throughout the time we interacted she lied, manipulated, and even tried to make me look crazy when truthfully it was the game she liked to play with all the many girls in the different area codes.
But you would think I would learn from that; sadly I did not....
Second entanglement was a lot worse than the first... this girl was one of my close friends that helped me out when I was in a tight spot, but what we ended up in was not the plan. She was engaged at the time and I knew that, but I guess because of where I was mentally I honestly did not care. I slept with her and the first time (yes I said first time) I was like "FUCK, i probably should not have done that"; but even still I let her pay for things, I had the pin to all major cards, and had access to all major accounts. Truth be told I even had the spare key to her car because that's just how it was handled. This entanglement though was almost a deadly one being that she was the extremely jealous and possessive over me, mind you I am just the "entanglement" or "jump-off". I was out with my friends one night, she happened to show up there with her crew and fiancee; she saw me dancing and started blowing my phone up with text messages. She went off for hours... saying all kinds of uncalled for craziness... then the next morning she acted like none of that happened. I was like lord this girl has lost her mind, I am not her fiancee, girlfriend, or boo; I'm legit just a jump-off. So in that moment, I decided it was time to walk away and leave that alone.. I realized in that situation I was not built to be anyone's other woman, side chick, or entanglement... But sadly I ended up in one more entanglement... but this one had a whole different ending..
My last entanglement was one I probably should have left alone from the beginning; there were so many red flags and I noticed them all but still proceeded forward. When we first started talking she admitted to stalking me on MySpace, going through everything on it and looking for me because she was into me when we were in high school. For some reason, when you are unhappy with self some of these things seem flattering even though none of it really should be. We talked for a few months and then she was like I'm going to the service, which in that moment I had the chance to get away but I stayed down. Now you may be wondering why I called this an entanglement, I call it that because truthfully she was involved with someone else and thought I did not know. From the moment, she entered my life I saw that she was not a one woman person; but hey I was not trying to be serious at the time. Welp, I guess I lied to myself because I fell and I mean I fell hard; I would talk to her all day everyday, wake her up for work, and then she left for the Navy. We still emailed and talked but the crazy part is I still knew I was not the only one, I did not know if I was the original entanglement or the secondary one. Until my great aunt died then I found out everything. When I say I was crushed because a baby was born, in that moment I realized I was secondary and this lead me back to my ENTRAPMENT...... which began my insanity because I went back to this entanglement and married them....
There's more come about how I have been #SurvivingLife
-Jess Lore'al
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