HIM (Part 2)

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Hey Everyone!
I had to take a break and go on a little vacation so that I can recenter my thoughts. The best way to talk about things is to take a break and then come back more clear and concise. I have so much that is in my mental that I have to make sure that I do not let it take me backwards. So here is the other part to what I was talking about in my last post..

I have been dealing with so much lately and I have been really vulnerable with one person, and I mean one person only. It's like I do not have to even tell HIM something is wrong, he always knows. He calls, he checks in, and he really takes the time to fix my mental in times I really need HIM. In the past few months, I personally have had so much going on and he always would hit me up, protect me, and pull me out of the places I did not know were about to swallow me whole. 

I honestly feel like meeting HIM has been my biggest blessing, but it also has been something that took me by storm because I never thought I deserved the type of love I receive, but with HIM it's like my mental, my flaws, my trauma, and my baggage does not matter. He takes the time to really unpack what I am dealing with and understand my feelings; but the most amazing part about it is we do it for each other. I found that we both never had this type of bond, love, and connection with another person. Which if you really think about it can cause a person to be scared of it and even run from it; I must be honest I have been through a lot when it comes to relationships that I have real trauma thinking that things will never be happy for me. But with HIM, it has always felt safe...

Safe is a word that I hardly ever use because I honestly never felt this feeling until recently in my life. I mean I did not even truly feel safe as a child; not to say I was in harms way or anything but I feel like my mental health was not protected the way it is now. My safety is a priority to HIM, like he gives me a place to go and he feels safe to be myself. I have been able to just be me, be okay with being vulnerable and not building a wall around me. Safety is a big deal for me in this stage of my life especially when dealing with the fact that I have "intrusive" thoughts. 

I'm grateful for this but hey outside of this PEACE of my life.. I'm still out here #LivingWhileSurvivingLife.

-Jess Lore'al


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