My Journey #LivingWhileSurvivingLife

Well it's been forever since I have done this, and I mean really just wrote something out that is in my head. But I have been so heavy and feeling broken that I finally mustered up the energy just to be honest with myself that I needed to blog my way through this.  Yes, I know it's been forever and I have so much that is on me that lately all I can do or even feel like doing is crying. I have so many great things happening but Im literally just exhausted and do not have the energy to even celebrate me. But let's get into what's really going on.... So I have moved back to Houston staying with my mother, still currently going through a divorce. That truthfully has not been easy; like having a person you have been with for years tear you down because they are not happy with their choices in life hard. I am literally dealing with someone that on one day will praise me/show appreciation; then on the next day act like I am the worst person walking this earth. I must tell you ...

 I was asked the most interesting question recently and it was "Do you feel guilty, ashamed, or what are your feelings about your life right now?" I honestly had to think about it and when I did, I just was like, "I am at peace"; funny thing is I did not think I was at peace with my life and my circumstances because I am still facing new challenges each day, but I am honestly do have inner peace. You see, I have cried about my circumstance, I have asked so many questions, I have gotten really angry, but now I have reached this place of peace because I have found me.  Over the years, I have lost myself in all the things going on in my life, I lost my desire to want to be creative, to sing, and to do all the things that I love. I am the biggest nerd you would ever meet because I love to read books about any and everything, I like to sit outside and enjoy nature, I love to listen to all types of music, dance around being silly, and lastly I love to be creative. But wit...

 So it's been awhile since I have posted on this site and it has been so much going on. I know that I really should have been releasing some of this built up hurt. It's hard sometimes when you are surviving your world around you that you forget to actually try to heal or release in the process. I have been through a lot of changes in my life and some changes that I am still going through at this moment. But there has been some hurts that I have noticed I need to release to finally put a nail or two in the coffin that is my past.  So tomorrow would be my wedding anniversary and I would be celebrating 4 years and also 13 years off and on with this one person; a place of complacency and what I thought was my comfort. So you can imagine that lately my mind has been all over the place; but I think yesterday I hit my breaking point and I mean the place where I finally realize that I DESERVE all the great things that are happening to me right now.  For so many years, I honestly ...

People run from the truth, there is many different versions/types of truth; and in life we experience all of them. We learn in our different walks of life how the truth is powerful, but also something that we as people fear to face. We actually will run from the truth and build a non-existent reality so that we can keep moving like everything is fine even when at times it may not be.  Truth is something that is freeing, helps you move forward, and also brings you to a better understanding of self and those around you. So why do we avoid it? Because it most cases we like to not know the truth so we can live in denial; well honestly, I am not one of those people lately. I have been healing and owning things about myself, my life, and my situations; I decided that I no longer want to live in the imaginary world, but in reality where I can continue to evolve and grow.  Many may not know this but my birthday is coming up on September 6, and truthfully I am not excited; I know that ...

In life, we have so many people that come across our paths that teach us things in one of two ways; one is giving us wisdom and knowledge, then the other is by taking us through something that teaches us a lesson. With both ways we gain so much more insight and wisdom, but we fail to appreciate the wisdom because of how it came, who it came from, and what we had to go through to get that wisdom.  I have gained so much in my life that I find it so funny how people react when I say that I grew up with 13 grandparents; yes I said 13 grandparents that I learned a lot from over the course of life. Some were around for years and others were only around for a little while but they imparted so much in me that some of my characteristics are from them. There is a meme that I saw one day that said something along of getting wisdom from your elders and the little girl was sitting at her grandmother's feet; well I was that little girl. My life consisted of me always being with my grandparents a...

Appreciation means  recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something; now that we have the textbook definition of the word, let's talk about what it means in real life. It means to show someone how much you care, love, and how much you are grateful for them; appreciation makes people feel better and sometimes it gives people a feeling that they probably have not felt ever. But sometimes we forget to show that appreciation to ourselves as well, so that is something that I have been trying to get my self-love back to a great place. I realized that during my healing I was longing for a love that I could not get from anywhere but myself. I truthfully did not know where to begin with that being that I have never really witness anyone loving themselves more than whatever they were going through. Self- Love is something that comes in many different ways, its preserving your peace, removing yourself from toxic situations, and it's even loving you unconditionally....

 After releasing so much heavy stuff you have to get yourself back to a place of love, peace, and appreciation of how far you have come. In healing it gets so heavy that at times we forget the beauty in who were are and how great life has been besides those moments that brought us so much pain.  Appreciation seems to be something that a lot of people have a hard time with especially when needing to express it to others and ourselves. We forget to appreciate what we have done, overcome, and even accomplished in life; because we have been conditioned that it's not important to show love to oneself or those around for what they have done. Well that is wrong thinking because truthfully we need that recharge from within and around to help us do better and to keep going. Lately in my own personal journey, I realized that I have not been recharging myself or even giving myself that type of appreciation that is needed that I know that I am doing a great job and to keep pushing. So I m...